19. Yes, yes, a thousand times, yes!
Marriage is just texting each other “Do we need anything from the grocery store?” a bunch of times until one of you dies.
— Daniel Carrillo (@DanielRCarrillo) July 15, 2015
20. Money problems.
accountant: “youre basically broke”
wife: “he keeps spending money on stupid stuff”
me: “lets ask the dog if he thinks his jeans are stupid”
— k e i t h ?? (@KeetPotato) October 27, 2015
21. Let a man do it.
Wife: Wow, I’m tired
Me: Go relax, give me the recipe and I’ll make dinner
[Five minutes later]
Me: Honey, I think we’re out of…”oven”?
— Pete Lynch (@PJTLynch) November 3, 2013
22. Get it right.
Before I got married I didn’t even know there was a wrong way to put the milk back in the fridge
— Josh (@iwearaonesie) June 10, 2015
23. Thou shalt not do…a lot.
I don’t understand how God can have Ten Commandments for the whole world, and my wife can have 152 just for our house.
— Kent Graham (@KentWGraham) September 21, 2014
24. Clip this one out.
If my wife ever hired a private detective to follow me, it would be to get pictures of me not using the coupons I said I used.
— Just Bill (@WilliamAder) May 7, 2016