30 Petty Exes Who Will Make You Glad You Never Dated Them

Breakups can be pretty messy. Sometimes, you’re blessed and have a mutual understanding that the relationship just isn’t working out for either person involved. You both go your separate ways and live your lives normally, eventually finding the right person for you. Other times, you rip someone’s heart out and run it over with a truck.

When someone gets their heart broken, they have two options, really. One involves them crying for days into a pint of ice cream and watching some romantic comedies while they gain 12 pounds or, the other is, they take the road of petty and savage revenge. When this happens, there’s nothing more we can do than to share it with those who relate to our struggles online – am I right? It’s safe to say we’ve all had a petty ex or two in our lives.


Ex and I were together for almost 2 years. He moved in with me fairly early on in our relationship (we were both in school, so it saved us both some money every month). During our first summer together, we bought a new mattress and box spring from Costco for $400. A year and a bit pass, and we break up. Since it was at the very beginning of the month, I gave him back his half of rent, which I thought was not necessary, but a nice thing to do since it was a mutual break-up. He leaves (it was my apartment), and I move to a different building. He messages me about a month later saying “So, when are you going to get me that $200?” Confused, I get him to explain why he thinks I still owe him $200. Turns out, he expected me to give him back his share of the $400 mattress we bought which we had slept on for over a year. When I refused, saying that it was a ridiculous assumption, he told me how I’m such a horrible, toxic person who will never be able to have a meaningful relationship with anyone.

TJ Romaniuk


Stole and used checks on my name,
sold my TV via facebook- all while i was moving out.

But her grand finale must be waiting for me outside my doorstep, on my birthday, with a wrapped dildo in her hand.

Two years after we broke up!

While i was living with my new girlfriend!



I had left a bunch of clothes at her house. A couple months later she returned them. When I got home I put a pair of sweatpants on and put my phone in my pocket and it dropped straight to the floor. I picked it up and put it in the other pocket thinking it was probably just a random hole, no big deal. It fell to the floor again. I checked all my stuff and she had cut holes in all my pockets in everything she returned. The clothes weren’t ruined, but to this day we both know she won.



Replace me as a bridesmaid in my best friend wedding…….yep. As in, he was a bridesmaid and I wasn’t.



We’d celebrated Christmas together, and all of my Christmas decorations were at his place. When we broke up, he refused to return my Christmas stuff. They weren’t worth money, though some were 50 or more years old (they’d been my grandparents), and a lot of them were personalized. There was no reason for him to keep them other than to be a dick. A decade later, I’m still mad about this.



The day I left my ex boyfriend I spent 4 hours in the woods looking for my truck keys because he had thrown my keys away in the woods behind our apartment in a feeble effort to stop me from walking out.



My ex husband donated all of our wedding decorations and things to a local thrift shop. There’s nothing like walking into a thrift store and seeing the centerpieces I spent lots of time and money on sitting on the bottom shelf for 25 cents each…



He called me two months after we broke up to tell me that he had just received the best blow job he’d ever had.



When I was a senior in highschool I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years because I cheated on him. He decided to drive home from college and back(on a weeknight, about 3 and half hours each way), just to hand deliver a long ass letter and a shirt that I bought him. I tore up the letter and wore the shirt to school that day. We were both petty af tbh.



My ex changed the passwords to my snapchat, ruined my bitmoji, and proceeded to block every guy on my account.