15 Twitter Jokes You’ll Want To Drop Everything And Read Right Now

Every week I handpick the best Twitter jokes and drop them in here. Each one is linked to the original tweet if you want to check out their profile for other great tweets. I would. Most of these people are cranking out several great jokes every day. Worth a look.

1.

I know we're all aiming high with New Year resolutions, but maybe we should just try to keep the inside of the microwave clean first.

— Amanda (@Manda_like_wine) January 3, 2017

2.

https://twitter.com/LadyBroseph/status/628956545112342528

3.

my upstairs neighbors have the life i want. they wake up on a Saturday morning, fall out of bed, and then drop and knock over literally everything they own for 6 or 19 hours. good christ that is the fucking life

— audrey farnsworth (@audipenny) January 5, 2019

4.

https://twitter.com/gabriellejwhite/status/1079798128981753856

5.

why don't you just googoo it. wook it up on googoo.

— tara shoe (@tarashoe) July 3, 2013

6.

https://twitter.com/hippieswordfish/status/919418676939390976

7.

https://twitter.com/vineyille/status/1080122525122772992

8.

me: alexa

alexa: that name was a fiction to hide my true identity, alizarin the demon god of fear and-

me: is it okay to microwave glass

alexa: for how long

— shen the bird (@Shen_the_Bird) October 11, 2018

9.

hello 9-1-1? my girlfriend's been kidnapped
"stay calm sir, what's ur girlfriend's name"
oh she goes to another school u wouldn't know her

— chuuch (@ch000ch) March 4, 2015

10.

that’s my bitch right there https://t.co/RhXEtaRx4e

— lauren ashley bishop (@sbellelauren) December 28, 2018

11.

https://twitter.com/DanMentos/status/941698350847467520

12.

https://twitter.com/msdanifernandez/status/339505577426317312

13.

https://twitter.com/BringDaNoyz/status/926246122607333376

14.

https://twitter.com/pixelatedboat/status/1072213291403857920

15.

https://twitter.com/BrandonEsWolf/status/971064259961606144