Mike
I’m sure you had time to read all the great tweets this week but just in case you didn’t here are the 25 best. Funny jokes are good medicine.
1.
One of my students really wrote a sentence that begins, "In the late 1900s.” I had to re-read it three times to realize what the heck was going on. My feelings are hurt.
— Sarah J. Jackson (@sjjphd) May 14, 2020
2.
https://twitter.com/cardamummy/status/1260815894449582081?s=20
3.
Me letting my dad check my car to make sure the mechanic not trying to overcharge me for car issues. pic.twitter.com/k6H0c47cuI
— Ky ✨ (@peculiaraddison) May 14, 2020
4.
Canny believe a just done this man pic.twitter.com/JuJFU9mV8T
— D (@dermot_87) May 14, 2020
5.
i admire how when babies dont want to hold something anymore they just drop it
— legalize all drug use (@mixedmediapaper) May 11, 2020
6.
really grinds my gears when babies have that lil soft spot .. you were in there for 9 months and couldn’t finish making your head ?
— i praydalor my sodakeep (@almondtiddies) May 14, 2020
7.
I'm pic.twitter.com/yzcw4drDll
— Bryan Brinkman (@bryanbrinkman) May 7, 2020
8.
https://twitter.com/jamiefindlaaay/status/1260193203787087873?s=20
9.
thinking about when my mom and I saw LOTR in theaters and at one point she turned to me and whispered "this could never happen"
— Pamela Ross (@PamNotAnderson) May 10, 2020
10.
the fact that my mom had a mom of her own????? that is so meta
— charlie (@chunkbardey) May 10, 2020
11.
https://twitter.com/gabrielroth/status/1258890133832638465?s=20
12.
https://twitter.com/The1stGentleman/status/1261101913938046976?s=20
13.
https://twitter.com/currentvictim/status/1260747176688283649?s=20
14.
https://twitter.com/MilesKlee/status/1260720167174066176?s=20
15.
For a moment, I thought the dystopia had ramped up considerably. pic.twitter.com/yYZFO09xYX
— Oonagh (@Okeating) May 14, 2020
16.
https://twitter.com/mindofmarisa/status/1259541673522212865?s=20
17.
https://twitter.com/AY3JA3Y/status/1260250996699279360?s=20
18.
This is the only TikTok that’s ever made me genuinely laugh out loud, this is the most important thing in my life right now pic.twitter.com/pvV5R9tdpw
— Imagine Dragons Hate Account. (@_21Average_) May 11, 2020
19.
https://twitter.com/jaboukie/status/1257373141002838019?s=20
20.
the government should give us each $8,000 not because that’s how much a batman pinball machine costs it’s for a different reason
— UnDo 512 #Stop Cop City (@stop_sweeps_atx) March 31, 2020
21.
The star spangled banner is technically one long yes or no question so when it ends I always say “yes” under my breath
— Sage Boggs (@sageboggs) May 12, 2020
22.
— Cat Damon (@CornOnTheGoblin) May 12, 2020
23.
willy wonka: oh my god. i just had the best idea
oompa: what is it
willy wonka: ok so u know how we kill children
oompa: ya
willy wonka: what if we start making candy
— david (@_elvishpresley_) May 15, 2020
24.
Cop: where'd you get that haircut?
Me: uh, I found it
— Piece (@Piecezilla) May 11, 2020
25.
legends say that only a construction worker who is pure of heart may retrieve it pic.twitter.com/8LX9scRXHX
— ⚡OG (@Randy_Shannon) May 5, 2020