Hannah
This week was just as weird as the rest of them and I know I’m sure ready for a laugh. These hilarious ladies once again came through with great jokes for us. I hope you like them as much as I did.
1.
https://twitter.com/bananafitz/status/1328043123562471425
2.
Baby carrot inventor: ok so the idea is we make tiny little carrots
Investor: eh………
Baby carrot inventor: BUT we make sure they are always soaking wet
Investor: you’ve got yourself a deal
— Alyssa Limperis (@alyssalimp) November 16, 2020
3.
Crazy that some people don't need glasses and can just rawdog vision like that
— queen joheen (@queenjoheen) November 15, 2020
4.
https://twitter.com/badgirIkiki/status/1328769407506591744
5.
Spreading disease over the Thanksgiving holiday? That’s sooo 1621.
— katie morrissey (@KatieMoNYC) November 16, 2020
6.
pls forgive my student loans. they didn't mean to
— Jill Gutowitz (@jillboard) November 16, 2020
7.
pro tip: if a man ever wants you to watch one of his boring man movies with him you don’t even have to pay attention just turn to him and go “holy shit” every time the music gets really loud
— ellie schnitt (@holy_schnitt) November 15, 2020
8.
Me on a Zoom call pretending I’m listening and not just looking at myself
— Hannah Tindle (@hannahtindle) November 16, 2020
9.
so what are we gonna do with all the daylight we’ve saved ? buy a house??
— Karen Chee (@karencheee) November 16, 2020
10.
This guy invites me to do Donuts in his car. First there was nothing glazed in there. Also a terrible driver next!
— Luwanda (@LuwandaJenkins) November 16, 2020
11.
Do they allow loud laughing in Hawaii, or just a low ha?
— Jayla From JSU ✨ (@iamtierneymacon) November 16, 2020
12.
gyms closing again???? I was about to start next week fr this time 🙄 pic.twitter.com/e9ZzW0sSbd
— Danae 🧚🏼♀️✨ (@_daannaaee) November 17, 2020
13.
every sex tape should have an accompanying blooper reel
— broti gupta (@BrotiGupta) November 16, 2020
14.
It's Sunday. Everyone remember to change into a new outfit for the week.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) November 15, 2020
15.
my mom and I text like twice a month and this is usually how it goes pic.twitter.com/LqlxEOcdz0
— gaychel (@coochieflop) November 18, 2020
16.
A friend is someone you can text “Do I look good in yellow?” and three dots appear and disappear twice before you get back “No.”
— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) November 17, 2020
17.
a symbol of wealth among pigeons pic.twitter.com/3U6RPCVrin
— living morganism 🌱 (@ok_girlfriend) November 16, 2020
18.
i b like idc then throw up from anxiety
— mimis ◡‿◡✿ (@miaasilvana) November 16, 2020
19.
would u rather live through 2020 again or that year where every public place was simultaneously playing radioactive by imagine dragons all the time
— eiryn (@c0ncreteveins) November 20, 2020
20.
— corie johnson (@corietjohnson) November 20, 2020
21.
Mary: no room at this inn?!? I’d like to speak to the manager
innkeeper: here you go, the manger
Mary: manager
innkeeper: manger
— Alexandra Petri (@petridishes) November 19, 2020
22.
can you imagine doing a sponsored tweet the way people do sponsored posts on instagram? so awkward. if I saw one I would spit out my Raisin Bran Cereal by Kellogg’s, a great source of fiber
— ellie schnitt (@holy_schnitt) November 19, 2020
23.
what do u possibly ask for christmas at 25. like bro i want a house
— maddie (@madddiexo) November 19, 2020
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